The devil damn near jumped up in me today...his baby was born! But luckily for me my christian side quickly took over and it really is true every child is a blessing. Not that didn't think of doing a ghetto moment and slap him up side the head. When he told me its was like he wanted a congratulations, like he wanted me to ask about the weight, the labour etc! What a freaking joke! I mean I've had to accept it but dont push your luck.
So im bk where i started waiting 4 a fone call from 'mr. big' (kevin). Does he think this gonna be like last night where he rings at 1am and im stupid enough to stay on the fone til 4am!!! not tonight mate i feel like i could be Mike Tyson and go 12 rounds, ear biting and all!
When will a black man appreciate a good woman. I mean i aint stupid men will cheat but at least be sensible about it. Like back in the days when a man knew who was his wife and who was just some fun on the side. Not every bitch can be wifey!!! arghhh!! im all over the place today i thought blogging would help but i think my lack of concentration is frustrating me even more!
Ok so diet out the window im gonna grab some popcorn, chocolate and soda; and cry myself to sleep!
Just in case you didnt get it...NOT a good day!!!
Thursday 11 June 2009
Wednesday 10 June 2009
waiting!!!
Explain to me why it is that when your waiting for that Mr. right no1 comes? Then when I've fully come to terms with the prospect of being single "HE" comes along! Is he my 'MR. BIGG'?? (Lol how funny that whenever life seems to be not going to plan i turn to any movie or any fictional story for a shred of hope!!) back to my point 'HIM', meaning the being in which pushed me towards blogging so i don't self implode (and u tricia girl!).
Why is it 12.30am and I'm still waiting for this promised phone call an hour after i was told 2mins. i mean i know black people's time but damn!
In all honesty i don't know if i pushing it with him to get over the Baby father drama! there ain't no other like it! lol! But he is all the way in JA so rather than feel overcrowded he has me feeling the complete opposite, neglected!! What is wrong with me is his 3 calls a day not enough! lol! Do i really need another Jamaican in my life??? My baby father (who once seemed to be my world) really put a lack of faith in my own nation! But every guy cheats and no matter where they come from it would not have an effect on my lack of trust on the male species as a whole!!
So thus where I'm at with HIM no matter what, my mistrust will surely sour any hope of any flower blooming, not to mention the fact that he might as well be a million years away!!! But just the thought of him makes me smile and makes my heart start to pump to the beat of any love song! lol! so if this is total true why does Keri Hilson - intuition be seem to be on repeat on my ipod!
I guess I'm kinda frightened of being alone, especially since my baby father has a child due this month. I think I'm just clinging so i don't deal with my real issues....WTF!! There is hardly much to deal with, he having a baby so i better get over it and fast, an no other man is gonna help me do that!!
Jenny francis putting me to bed every night....why cant august hurry up and come!!! Rain is falling and i need some sun in my life i deserve it!
WAIT after proof reading its all so doom and gloom, but when my angel smiles she makes everything worth while. Makes every broken piece of my heart piece back together. I'm thankful and praise the Lord everyday for bringing her into my life.
Now all i need 2 do is be content with my life being just me & her!
So on that note I'm turning off the cell, gonna cuddle with my bubba and turn my back on finding Mr. Right!
(wow my 1st blog has felt like a therapy i feel so relaxed!)
Why is it 12.30am and I'm still waiting for this promised phone call an hour after i was told 2mins. i mean i know black people's time but damn!
In all honesty i don't know if i pushing it with him to get over the Baby father drama! there ain't no other like it! lol! But he is all the way in JA so rather than feel overcrowded he has me feeling the complete opposite, neglected!! What is wrong with me is his 3 calls a day not enough! lol! Do i really need another Jamaican in my life??? My baby father (who once seemed to be my world) really put a lack of faith in my own nation! But every guy cheats and no matter where they come from it would not have an effect on my lack of trust on the male species as a whole!!
So thus where I'm at with HIM no matter what, my mistrust will surely sour any hope of any flower blooming, not to mention the fact that he might as well be a million years away!!! But just the thought of him makes me smile and makes my heart start to pump to the beat of any love song! lol! so if this is total true why does Keri Hilson - intuition be seem to be on repeat on my ipod!
I guess I'm kinda frightened of being alone, especially since my baby father has a child due this month. I think I'm just clinging so i don't deal with my real issues....WTF!! There is hardly much to deal with, he having a baby so i better get over it and fast, an no other man is gonna help me do that!!
Jenny francis putting me to bed every night....why cant august hurry up and come!!! Rain is falling and i need some sun in my life i deserve it!
WAIT after proof reading its all so doom and gloom, but when my angel smiles she makes everything worth while. Makes every broken piece of my heart piece back together. I'm thankful and praise the Lord everyday for bringing her into my life.
Now all i need 2 do is be content with my life being just me & her!
So on that note I'm turning off the cell, gonna cuddle with my bubba and turn my back on finding Mr. Right!
(wow my 1st blog has felt like a therapy i feel so relaxed!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)